We've never said "I love you" to each other. At least, I've never said it. She told me at the end of a phone conversation once, and it embarrassed the hell out of me. My ears were blood red. Almost everyone I know can say those three words easily and carelessly--everyone but me. Even though my family is very loving, we are not very affectionate. Hugs, kisses, and words laden with emotion are rarely doled out. It's not bad... our family dynamic is just different. I do love my mom, but it's hard to tell her to her face.
I've only realized how cool my mom was a year ago. Before, I never really appreciated her insight. She is understanding about a lot of things, though there are some things (academic mediocrity) that she just doesn't tolerate. I can appreciate that. There are also the times when my mom breaks out the box of chocolate and chat about girly things. I'm lucky to find a friend in her.
Of course, we have our disagreements. Because I'm a girl, my mom feels like I should act a certain way. I'm not neat or helpful enough to make a good wife by her standards... I don't know how many times she's told me that she pities my future husband. (Privately, I do too. I'm a pretty big slob.) She also doesn't expect me to be good at math or science because my brain just isn't geared to that stuff. To that, I take offense. While it's true that I'm no technical genius, I sometimes wish I was just so I could debunk that ridiculously outdated belief. Women are just as good as men in all fields, including math and science! I get so embarrassed when she tells other parents: "She's a girl you know--of course math and science isn't her area of focus." HEY... it's true that I'm not particularly good at either, but that's a personal ability that has nothing to do with my gender. There's also the fact that she thinks that having a degree or a license is only a backup in case the husband decides to ask for a divorce. Don't get me wrong--she's all for women standing on their own two feet and being independent. The trouble is, she thinks that we should let our husbands be the main breadwinners until something goes wrong. Only then should we pick up our careers again.
Her view of feminism is a little skewed, but she was born in the 1960's, so I don't fault her too much. She immigrated here at the age of 26 and earned her Master's in three years, so she has to know what she's doing. Plus, she's my mom. For that reason alone I'll always forgive her, even if she happens to be wrong.
Her view of feminism is a little skewed, but she was born in the 1960's, so I don't fault her too much. She immigrated here at the age of 26 and earned her Master's in three years, so she has to know what she's doing. Plus, she's my mom. For that reason alone I'll always forgive her, even if she happens to be wrong.
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