I'm a bit nervous about starting a blog again. My Xanga in high school used to be popular (among my real life friends), but died after the advent of Facebook and Myspace. Logically, I abandoned it, but with regret--in some ways, I think my life was more interesting than it is now.


Reading so much about blogging and the factors that go into making it popular has opened my eyes to the fact that I will probably never be able to attract one follower, let alone a substantial audience. I'm not an interesting or controversial person, and my writing is mediocre at best. My style is best suited to writing college papers or factual newspaper articles, not entries about my personal feelings. When I was younger (by just a few years, but it seemed so long ago), I used to write fabulously and without abandon. Where did that ability go?


It's really hard for me to open up to people, so maybe it's good for me to keep a blog. I am introverted, but it's not the healthy type of introverted. Sure, I can function in social situations without making a fool of myself, but I have difficulty making friends. The initial approach frightens me. When someone introduces him/herself to me, the only thing I can muster is a really awkward smile. The more times I see said person, the more times I freeze up... especially when I see them on my way to somewhere. Social standards dictate that we should acknowledge each other, but what type of acknowledgement is appropriate given our current relationship? Should we wave? Say hi? Nod while making eye-contact? In the end, I usually do all three... and walk off quickly in embarrassment later. Yeah, I'm that kind of person.


...


I have a feeling that these type of entries will only generate yawns. (But I can't help myself... that's just who I am.) Look forward to more disoriented rambles about yours truly in the future.


~Katherine